Filed under: gmail chat
me: are you drunk? give me your traffic and go stand in the keys.
dan: i read that and tried to glean wisdom from it…
me: (i can not wait to see where this goes.)
dan: what i got from that text is that if i unload all my business, i’ll find the key to life and be able to stand upon it. yeaaaah
Filed under: God
a friend of mine, john means, passed away yesterday after a fierce battle with lymphoma. he’s one of those people you couldn’t help but smile around–he overflowed with joy!
a friend of his family posted this on his caring bridge and i couldn’t have said it any better. beautiful words.
John died peacefully after a valiant fight. All machines and medicines were disconnected, he took a last breath, and then John rode on angel wings to stand before the throne of God. Those of us who loved him prayed him over the Great Divide, both jealous and devastated as we stay behind.
Frederick Buechner calls people of God “connoisseurs of sorrow,” for we are alive through the depth of Christ’s suffering borne out of love for us. Today and for the foreseeable future, we wrap sadness around like a cloak. At the very same time, we are people of hope. Christ came to bring eternal life of abundant delight. To this promise we cling. O death, where is thy sting? Seems like everywhere we look at this moment. But a new tomorrow will dawn in which there is no sorrow or crying. For that day we wait.
a lot happened in 2009. i moved across town, i began serving my community more intentionally, i freakin’ sold my car. here are some hi-lights, mostly for my own entertainment and documentation.
-made an incredible friend in christie vanhorn, who has been discipling me, sharing her life with me, reading books with me, challenging me, speaking truth to me, encouraging me, prayed with me, and most of all just showing me love!
-began a sort-of running group, SARC! with the amazing amanda k and fabulous and aforementioned christie. we spent a lot of nights cooling off our legs in the swimming pool at my apartment. a lot of restoration during our pool talks–not only physically (from our run), but i’d say spiritually and mentally too.
-i convinced a lot of people to join various social networks, like twitter. probably the most notable, was getting my boss to join hoffspace. that’s right. david hasselhoff has a ning network. he noticed one day that people in geremany, australia and the US who didn’t know each other could all have one thing in common: david hasselhoff.
-speaking of german things, i spent a week in berlin (first of july) eating crepes, touring museums and smelling the lingdenberry trees.
-BECAME AN AUNT! this is probably one of the best decisions i’ve ever made. and not just once, but twice. ruby and isabella are amazing! i enjoy every second i am able to spend with them.
-my favorite brown lab was born. EMMA! she’s a mess! but a cute little brownie.
-excelled in photography. had my first art show, took an art CLASS for crying out loud. was coached through an incredible project with incredible people, and even had a couple of paying gigs here and there.
-learned a lot about discipleship. in the sense of—they aren’t college students! life is raw. so many ups and downs. worth every heartache, every drop of blood, every tear, every laugh, every lesson, every joy. amazing.
-watched some of my best friends get married. watched jesus bring restoration and renewal to jacq and andrew as they truly showed the world that marriage is a reflection on jesus and the church. barely made it for the vows, because of a plane delay to watch david and brooke say ‘i do’!–so happy for them!
-lost a great friend, nate, to heat exhaustion. still struggle through this sometimes, but take joy in the crazy amount of lives his story has touched. he is still telling people about jesus from heaven because his story is still touching lives. it is truly amazing.
-came to value community in a new way. it’s hard–but i know we were not created to live life in isolation. i have deep, rich community that loves, celebrates, rebukes when it needs to, speaks truth, gives courage, and values each other.
-oh yeah, and i feel like i’ve successfully brought back the word ‘rad.’
rad.
shout out to allen kirk for encouraging this blog to be possible. thanks for reading!
Filed under: God, face sized project, fierce, some kind of radical compassion
So, I sold my car. September 25, 2009, to be exact. A day that lives in infamy…just kidding. :)
I guess this all started over a year ago when I went overseas to work with an NGO in Eastern Europe. I saw the world through “other eyes” for the first time in my life and it changed me. It had to. You can’t be human and ignore something like that. Upon my return, I began to have this crazy, burning desire to live more simply. My first move of simple satisfaction, was making a home in a 250 square feet flat in Central Austin. I was so sick of owning stuff. I called Salvation Army and had them come pick up everything except for about half my clothes and shoes, half my books, a few keepsakes and my TV. I got rid of everything. Furniture. Bathroom accessories. More furniture. A brand new coffee pot. All my kitchenwares. Gone. I even lived without a bed for a year.
It felt amazing to purge and get rid of all these possessions that I didn’t need, and set up shop in a smaller, simpler place. I felt healthy after this transition. I was rid of years of useless junk. I discovered at the heart of this, God was calling me to live even more simply. Did you know that just by owning a car, you are more wealthy than about 95% of the world? Sick! I just felt gross that this was the truth. And then He said, ‘what about your car?’ Yikes! But, ok!
The thing is…I actually really love public transportation. It’s so Euro—and has always had an exciting appeal to me. I remember at one point, making a list of pros and cons and only coming up with one con. The day I actually sold my car, was one of the most liberating days of my life. I thought I would cry or be upset, but as I walked those three, hot, long miles home getting dust in my shoes and sweat in my eyes, I felt that fat check in my pocket, that I knew would bring blessings to others, and I was overcome with intense joy.
It’s funny the different reactions I’ve gotten from people. Some feel sorry for me, as if I had something terrible happen and had to give up my car. Others treat it like I have a disability. As weird as that sounds, they just can not seem to, in their minds, allow me to ride the bus. But I like for people to sit in this tension. I think it’s both challenging and moving. And then there are some who have also done the same thing, or that applaud the effort to live simply, be green, give something up because God asked me to.
Knowing myself for the past, almost 29 years, I can not believe that I don’t have a single complaint to give you about becoming car-less, but I don’t. I knew when I took this step that God would be faithful in providing me what I’d be lacking. It’s made me more disciplined, forced me to start thinking ahead, and humbled me greatly by having to ask for help every once and awhile. I need to do this more. It’s weird to tell you that I crave those walks I’m forced to take now. I see things and buildings and nature, ways I have never seen them before. “Beautiful” is not a strong enough word.
So many “good” things and emotions have come from this, but there are still struggles I am on the field with, battling. Here’s my dark confession part. Since being on the bus, God has revealed a lot of prejudice I have been harboring in my own heart. Man is it ugly, and raw. The bus has a certain unshowered stench to it. There are people who, omg—ask you for money and OMG, have to sit by you that might seem scary. God has shown me more compassion and love through these people than I ever could have imagined. He has taught me every life is valuable and purposeful, no exceptions. The size of God has expanded, as if that’s even possible. As He continues to break through this hardness, it hurts. It’s embarrassing. It breaks me down. But this creates space for true restoration to happen. He is more, I am less. It’s worth it.
Last night I had to walk about six blocks home from the bus stop. Not a long way, but it was pouring down freezing cold rain. My legs and feet were freezing, my socks were squishy, and my shoes were completely soaked. I surprised myself when I found myself, in the dark, cold and wet, praising God. I felt so alive and satisfied. That—is how it is when you make choices with Jesus.
This whole experience has evolved me as a person. I’m just in awe. It has affected me physically, spiritually, socially, intellectually and emotionally. Who knows if I’ll buy another car ever again. Maybe if I move somewhere I need it, but learning to live without it has become a one way, constantly moving forward street.
So if you see me standing at a bus stop or walking down a random street letting the rain fall on my head and the wind blow in my face, sure. You can offer me a ride, I might take it. But if I refuse, it’s because deep, rich sanctification is happening. And…get ready. I’m praying for you to join me.
Thanks for reading.
Filed under: holiday
this has been one of the most stress-free holidays ever! it was a really special time for me because i got to spend it with BOTH of my nieces and watch them enjoy their first christmas!
this year, my family did a ’secret santa’ gift exchange so we all got one thing. it was awesome. here’s my gift. oh yeah, plus tickets to see david sedaris!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Filed under: advent
today marks the third sunday of advent.
“but the angel said to them, “do not be afraid. i bring you good news of great JOY that will be for all the people.”
advent (latin for “coming”) is the first season in the christian liturgical calendar, and takes place the four weeks prior to christmas. each week, a different theme is honored, in our symbolic preparation for the birth of Christ: hope, peace, joy and love. it is a time where we symbolically prepare for the arrival of baby Jesus. of course this translates into our faith today, as a time of reflection in preparing for the second coming of Christ while also remembering the day our gracious God sent his Son to give life.
as we get ready to talk about joy today at church, i am spending some time in the bible, asking God to show my community joy.
“stir up your power, o Lord, and with great might come among us; and, because we are sorely hindered by our sins, let your bountiful grace and mercy speedily help and deliver us; through Jesus Christ our Lord, to whom, with you and the Holy Spirit, be honor and glory, now and forever. amen.”
the book of common prayer, p 212
“third sunday of advent”
Filed under: photography
over thanksgiving, i took pictures of my old high school pals russell and lisa’s little boy. he was so cute! unfortunatley, it was sooo cold we didn’t have a long time to shoot. here are a couple of favorites!
